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3:05 a.m. - 2021-07-23 Today I found out my mom decided to have plastic surgery to remove excess skin in her neck. I was really caught off guard when I saw her and I think I was in shock a bit. Her face was bruised and not its normal shape. It looked like she had more than just a neck lift. Her face seems to be skewed now, her mouth looks like she had a stroke, as one side seems to open up while she's speaking as the other side seems to barely move. I hope it's just temporary from the surgery... but omg it made me cry to see that she had done that to herself. It makes me cry that she felt that she needed to do that to be attractive. I didn't recognize the woman that I had known my whole life. I hate the fact that she felt the need to do that to herself to look younger. Fuck all this shit that makes women feel like they're worth less when they don't stack up to beauty standards. It's so fucked up and it makes me livid! She's always self-conscious and worried about her looks. I HATE that she thinks like that. She's such a wonderful woman, and she's beautiful the way she is. She's already thin, and yet still thinks she's fat. It makes me so angry that she thinks these things about herself. A WOMAN'S SELF WORTH SHOULD NOT BE DICTATED BY HER LOOKS - SAME GOES FOR MEN. WE AS HUMAN BEINGS ARE MORE THAN OUR EXTERIORS. I told Rolf about this because I was really upset about it, and he was so sweet and comforting. He tried to empathize with me and emphasize that I needed to be supportive, and maybe later on down the road once the surgery isn't so fresh, that may be a better time to have a discussion with her about her self image. He is such a good man, and a wonderful partner. He is so good at understanding other peoples' perspectives and feelings. He's very emotionally mature, and I am so thankful for it. On another note, a friend of mine mentioned a subreddit to me today called r/niceguys which is basically a place for people to post examples of men who think they're nice guys but are truly garbage human beings that think they deserve (sexual/romantic) attention from women just because they're nice to them, but when women don't want anything more than friendship (or nothing at all with them) they go on these crazy tirades about how women are sluts and bitches that only want assholes. The whole "woe is me" and self-pity attitude coupled with the entitlement to women is just sickening. Their entire mentality consists of "I'm a nice guy and yet women don't want to be with me, they're all bitches that just want to date assholes." It's such a weird mindset to want to be with a woman so desperately but at the same time carry such hatred for them. It is confusing and mind blowing, not to mention creepy and scary. So many people that need mental health counseling. I'm not saying there aren't asshole women out there, but that applies to men too... people can be assholes, it's not gender-specific. If someone either treats you like shit or doesn't reciprocate your feelings then just move the fuck on... no need to dwell on it or blow up on someone if they don't have the same level of feelings for you. No one OWES you affection or attention. It's just scary reading some of the posts on there. Some of these guys truly view women as property, and one of them even went so far as to say that any woman that stays single deserves any abuse she gets from a man since she clearly didn't choose to be with this guy who would protect her from other men. WT actual Fuck. Seriously, women truly get the shitty end of the stick in the gender rat race. How many men fear for their life when they turn a woman down or tell a woman "no"? Unfortunately it's a serious concern for women... there are so many stories in the news about violence against women by men that were rejected. I realize men have their own gender-specific problems, and so I am not denying that both sexes have challenges, but the problems that plague women are much more serious (at least from my viewpoint as a woman). I am just so thankful to have found a genuinely GOOD man. A man that is sweet, kind, caring, hard working, talented, intelligent, emotionally open while also being confident and manly... he is absolutely perfect. And he's so good about asking if things are ok if he feels like something is even slightly off. It's so nice that he doesn't just ignore things like that and waits for it to go away. He's a problem solver and wants to make sure that our communication is open and honest, which is so refreshing. After so many shitty relationships with men who just put so little effort into a relationship, I am thankful for Rolf every single day. We are such a good match and I constantly find myself thinking of our future together. I truly believe that we could be happy with each other for the rest of our lives. We share so many core values and both understand what it's like to be unappreciated, which makes us both very conscious about it and we take extra care to ensure neither of us feels that way in our relationship. I think it's interesting when people say that relationships "take work" and I don't know exactly how I feel about that phrase. I feel like when you are with the right person, a relationship isn't "work", things just come naturally because you care about that person and so you WANT to do things to make that person happy. I understand that things won't always be rainbows and butterflies. You'll have off days/weeks/months, as will your partner, but being there for them and making it through those times isn't "work" in my opinion, it's just the nature of a relationship and life in general that you will go through those times. It just sounds so negative to me when people say "relationships take work" - it sounds more to me like "mismatched people have to work hard to keep their relationship functioning and healthy." I don't really like the phrase because of the connotation it brings up in my head. It makes me think of 2 different situations: 1) A younger couple that has kids and are struggling to find joy in life because they're miserable since they're juggling taking care of the kids, working, and finding time for each other as well as some semblance of "me time." Clearly this situation/relationship would be viewed as "work" because it's something that the couple would have to struggle to find time to keep their relationship alive and somewhat romantic. In this scenario, I envision the parents being more interested in nap time than being intimate with each other.
Anyway - this turned into a long post. TL;DR - My mom got unnecessary plastic surgery, which makes me both sad and angry for her. I love Rolf, he's an amazing human being, and I dislike the phrase "relationships take work." Goodnight <3
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